Month: March 2024

Gran Canaria 2024 – Sunny Canteras day

Day 10 Tuesday 13 March 2024

Almost at the end of our trip and the sun is shining, it’s a sunny hot day! It was also our last chance to visit Vagueta, the oldest and most attractive part of the city. Las Palmas is scattered with sculptures and memorials in most of the small parks which is rather lovely. This guy, Dr Juan Negrin Lopez has been given some makeup, I’m not sure if the lipstick is the right shade for his green moustache.

CAAM is the Centro Atlantico de Art Moderno, the modern art museum. It is housed in a beautiful purpose built gallery close to Casa Colon. Like all modern art museums, the content is a mixed bag of genius and “what the hell is that!” The good far outweighed the indifferent, and there are some beautiful as well as challenging images in there.

I have called this one “a nod is as good as a wink”, which is also the name of an album by The Faces. Did I ever tell you that I saw the Faces once in 1972? They came of late and were as pissed as farts, as usual.

We spent a very pleasant couple of hours wandering around enjoying and trying to make sense of the pieces. Every picture and sculpture had a little description/explanation in Spanish and English, and every one was mystifying to me. The text below could be used for any of the pieces and make the same amount of sense.

In the British spirit of “bloody hell I could do better than that” I made a Work Of Art. I didn’t have a 5 year old with a packet of crayons to exploit, so this is a self-portrait. Its called “Parallel Lines:Not Blondie”. It expresses my alienation from the world of sport, and hope for the future of music through an appreciation of Deborah Harry. Possibly.

This is available from Eltimbola Enterprises as a colour photocopy for £399.99, and an extra 100 quid if you want it signed.

Spain is a lovely country in many ways. But it doesn’t have have the same level of basic amenities as in the UK. They don’t have cafes in museums, which is a horrifying omission. They miss out on an enormous revenue stream by not flogging overpriced cakes and crappacino to peckish visitors. The cafe at Kew Gardens covers several hectares and is designed to slow down the flow of customers as much as possible and sell cakes that cost as much as the hourly minimum wage. I think CAAM should convert one of the exhibition spaces into a cafe and sell coffee and carrot cake, the English tourists would pour millions of Euros into it to spend on more Art.

We took our good money elsewhere, and found a top cafe near the market. We shared a fabulous focaccia sandwich with Jamon Jamon in it, and a slice of almond cake. My lips they say “yes”, my waist he say “wibble wobble”.

After lunch we got on a number 12 up the coastal road to Parque de Santa Catalina. I wanted to take a look at the Elder Science Museum, which is housed in a big old warehouse once built by a British company called Elder. I looked through the window and could see that it was puny compared to the mighty Science Museum in Sarf Ken, so I kept my 6 Euros to spend on beer.

This is the museum, a big shed with half an extension on the top. The tall palm trees are called Washingtonia and are from California, the small ones are Phoenix Canariensis, which are local.

The park is on the Isthmus, so we walked across to Canteras beach, which was looking fabulous in the hot sunshine. It was very busy with pale tourists gently roasting in the sun. I sat on a bench looking at the sea until I got too hot, and then found a bit of shade about 30cm wide under a palm tree and sat like Robinson Crusoe hiding from the sun. Because I’m a bit of a nerd, I observed that the shadow of the tree moved about 10 cm in 10 minutes. Consequently I had to keep moving round to stay in the shade so I didn’t shrivel like Gollum.

I read my Kindle, which is much better than a phone for reading in the sun. I’m reading Nuts and Bolts by Roma Agrawal. It’s all about the engineering of small things like the wheel, pumps, nails and nuts. I enjoyed it very much, but it wouldn’t suit everyone. Probably most people to be honest. I just like to know how things work, and how they came to be. Stories are quite good, but give a man a fact and he can bore people for life.

At about 4pm we met up with Jo and Dave and found a very good restaurant overlooking the beach, with seats in the shade; perfect. There we stayed for several hours drinking and eating, it was very good indeed. Super-good, one might say.

It started getting overcast and cool at about 6.30 and took the bus down to Jo and Dave’s hotel near San Telmo, and went to the bar to test the quality of the wine and beer. Extensive research brought us to the conclusion that on the Nice/Good/Super-good/Triffic scale, the booze came in at Good. I will publish the results in the European Journal of Booze Studies. This will probably get noted by the Daily Mail and published as a health story.

I went to bed at about 11 pm, full of joy and Vino Tinto. I awoke at 1 am with hydrochloric acid erupting in my stomach like a volcano, c’est las vie.

That was our last proper day on Gran Canaria. Thursday was all about waiting of various types; at bus stops, airports and on a plane. But until they figure out how the Tardis works, thats always going to happen at the end of a holiday.

I hope you have enjoyed my blog. If you did, send me some fan mail to timharness@timharnesstravels

I can then share some facts with you about nuts and bolts or the movement of the sun relative to a Canarian palm tree.

Gran Canaria 2024- The Beautiful South

Day 9 Tuesday 12/3/24

Dave offered to hire a car and take us to the south for the day. The approximate geography of the island is that Trade Winds blow from the north and pile up cloud against the central mountains. So the north is relatively cloudy and wet compared to the south. North is green, south is a desert.

Tourists want sunshine, so that is where the biggest tourist resorts are. Dave got a Kia Rio, a small but surprisingly roomy car. His hotel is right next to the motorway which goes from Los Palmas all the way round to Puerto de Magan in about 50 minutes. Everywhere in the south has been built in about the last 50 years, and it’s all made of concrete. It’s the epitome of mass tourism. But hey, the beer is cheap and the sun is shining!

Puerto de Magan was a tiny fishing village at the end of a valley, which has been transformed by terraces of flats rising up both sides of the valley. It has a pretty little beach which looks good for swimming, and plenty of bars and restaurants. We got a coffee and strolled around town, like you do, looking at tat in the shops and being pleased I wasn’t there for a week. Some of the town is very pretty, and has cottages designed in an old local style which have bourganvillia growing over them. But much of the resort was tightly packed concrete boxes.

Our next stop was Puerto Rico, which was the Margate to Mogans Broadstairs. A bit more down market with fewer redeeming features. It follows the same pattern of beach, marina, shops, flats and restaurants, but has little charm. If you enjoy mini-golf, it’s the place for you.

This picture of Jo, Dave and Julie shows how the flats are stacked up on the volcanic hillside. It’s like a vision of Mars in a 100 years time when the terraforming has kicked in a bit, but the landscape is still shit.

Back in the car we drove east through tunnels to Maspalomas, which is a very big resort, and more upmarket than the others. The sea front is all big hotels and palm trees, and it has a long promenade. The most famous feature of the resort are the 400 hectares of dunes, which are quite spectacular. We started walking across them to the lighthouse, but then we saw a sign saying it was 3 kilometres. This is a holiday not a Royal Marines training exercise, so we went back to the car and drove.

After sniffing about for a while we found a restaurant called Piti y Flautas just off the promenade. What’s that name all about then? Does it mean “pity the flute-player”? Or is it something to do with floaters? I could look it up, but it’s more fun to speculate.

I drank a litre of lager (San Miguel) and ate a huge seafood pizza, and I feel slightly queezy but satisfied.

It was dark by the time we got back to Las Palmas, and all the drilling rigs were lit up like Christmas trees in Puerto de la Luz. Maybe that’s why it’s called port of the lights.

Gran Canaria 2024 – Return to Canteras

Day 8 Monday 11/3/24

It was raining when I woke up this morning at about 7.30. I carefully looked through the curtains and saw people sheltering in doorways and walking with umbrellas.

We had a slow start to the day, as always on holiday, and washed some clothes. I hope you weren’t expecting high drama and artful prose in this blog? It’s just a long version of the “What I Did On My Holidays” story I did for Miss Pogson when I was at Horncastle Junior School.

Once my pants were safely hung out we went over the road for a cake and pastry and planned our day. The plan was “Get a bus to Canteras beach”, not too hard since we are 5 minutes from the bus station. So we got a Number 8 bus that we thought was correct, but it drove out of the town centre and up into the suburban hills where the tumble weed rolls and men with sombreros sleep outside of their shacks.

This is a slight exaggeration, but it was the wrong bus route. I wailed and tore my clothes, but Julie was on top of the situation and found the solution.

We cunningly got off the Number 8 and got onto a Number 81 which took us to the Porto de la Luz on the isthmus (my new favourite word).

We went to the Naval Museum, next to the naval base in the port. The museum wasn’t big, and was mostly, guns, mortars, swords, and models of ships. I’m sure they keep all the good stuff in a big museum in Barcelona or Seville, and Las Palmas gets the leftovers. This looks like an old Dr Who monster costume, but is actually a diving suit from the 19th century.

We traversed the short distance from one side of the isthmus to the other, and saw two men putting up a sign explaining the about the local area called Gauntarteme. I think I can safely say that I was the first person to read that sign. It must have happened to the (late) Queen many times, but it was a new experience to me. I think it warrants a blue plaque, I shall write to the local council in green ink and demand one.

The Guantarteme was just a strip of sand until 1883 when British engineers started building the new port and the whole area became urbanised. It is now very densely populated with blocks of ugly flats. The old buildings in Vagueta and Triana are lovely, but the 20th century buildings in most of the city are almost all bloody ugly concrete stumps.

Crossing over to the other side we reached the far end of Canteras beach, where the sea pounds the volcanic shore quite violently.

There was a little cafe selling pizzadillo, so we gave it a try. It’s half a small crusty loaf with a filling in it. I had pulled pork, Julie had cod in a tomato sauce. Washed down with a small beer it was perfect for watching the ocean. In the distance I could see Mount Teide poking up through the clouds on Tenerife. Its the highest mountain in Spain, and its cone was twinned in the photo with a volcano on Las Palmas.

It was a relaxing spot to watch the sea, so we had another cana of beer before continuing our walk along the sea shore.

After a brief appearance, the sun retired and we were left with an overcast sky, which the locals call “The Donkeys Belly”. But it was still great to be beside the seaside, definitely warmer than Skegness. I got an icecream and watched the surfers shooting along on top of massive breakers, I’m pleased it was them, rather them than me.

After Canteras we walked to the Central Market. Bad move, it was mostly shut. Then to Alcaravaneras beach to find a cafe. No cafes there, not even any seats to sit on. The day wasn’t going our way, so we took a Number 17 bus back to San Telmo.

I cooked some awesome pasta for dinner in the flat. I like having a kitchen to cook in, a washing machine for my smalls, and a big telly to watch Netflix n’ chill.

Can you see me in the mirror?

Day 9 – The Beautiful South

Gran Canaria 2024- Bike Tour of Las Palmas

Day 7 Sunday 10/3/24

I woke up at an ungodly hour (7am) to have a wee and couldn’t get back to sleep again. You know how it is. I tried all the counting stuff and saying goodnight to my feet and legs, but Morpheus would not welcome me back into his arms. So I got up and watched nerdy YouTube videos on my phone.

I like videos about rockets, construction, physics, engineering and geography. If I was to put those on a dating website profile, I would probably end up with Prof. Brian Cox. He’s a nice guy, but really not my type.

After Julie woke up, we had coffee n’shit, we set off on today’s Big Adventure with Jo and Dave, a cycle tour of Las Palmas. Our cycling host was Jose, who is a professional cycling teacher, mostly for 6 to 12 year olds. At weekends he takes tours with grown-ups.

The first leg was Vaguata and Triana, the oldest parts of the city. To be blunt, I’ve seen it already, so not exciting for me. After coffee in San Telmo Park we cycled north to see some parts of the city we hadn’t seen before. I haven’t got many photos since I was fully engaged with riding my pillar box red “Dutch style” bike. It was what I would call a ladies bike with a basket on the front. I forced myself to accept that there is diversity in the bicycle world, and in 2024 they should not be Gender Specific. I would have preferred a crossbar and darker paint job, but we are living in a Post-Barbie world and I have to reject Ken’s outlook on cycling.

Jose took us to the Santa Catalina Hotel, the best in town. It was built by The British in 1890, when there were lots of Brits conducting business in the city. Las Palmas is on trade routes for steam ships to the Empire, so Brits built La Luz port to handle the trade. The city expanded massively after the port was built in 1885, and is the third largest in Spain.

Just as we got to the hotel, the Bilbao football team were getting onto their coach on the way to a league match with Las Palmas. I took some photos of the players, I think this guy might be famous, lots of kids wanted his autograph.

The tour continued as far as the promenade at Canteras, which was heaving with weekend visitors. We had a brief look at it and then crossed the isthmus to the eastern side where there were two bloody great cruise ships tied up. After that it was a 20 minute ride along the coast back to Veguata and the end of our tour; Adios Jose!

The 10k ride took about 4 hours, so not very taxing. Nonetheless a post-cycle beer at a cafe behind the cathedral was very welcome. We then went for a late lunch at Allende Triana. My main course was called Iberian Pork with Crispy Fries. It was strips of pork served with some sort of herb dressing in little dish. The fries were freshly cooked crisps, without any seasoning. It was tasty, but a bit simple and basic. Pork and Crisps, I don’t think it will catch on. The waiter (he told us he was from Cuba) was brisk and efficient, but had all the charm of a Macdonalds server on a bad day

Here’s a picture of my lunch, it was a vegetarians nightmare.

So it’s back to Canteras beach tomorrow, and possibly the Science Museum if the weather is bad.

Gran Canaria 2024- The Botanic Gardens

Day 6 Saturday 9/3/24

Today it was time to get outa Dodge and commune with nature at the Jardin Botanico. Before we left Julie was about to make some coffee, but there was no power. There were workmen at a bank over the road doing something, so I went to investigate. It could have been a massive heist by a major OCG, but Ray Winstone wasn’t there and there was no glamorous lady criminal mastermind in a tight skirt and stilettos. A bloke in overalls pointed at a notice tied to a lamp post, written in Spanish of course. Google Translate worked its magic and told me that the power would be off until 5.30 in the evening. So no coffee for me.

The bus went from San Telmo bus station, 5 minutes away from the flat. It only took about 15 minutes to get to the botanic gardens in the hills above the city. There was a wooden cabin at the entrance where a man told us we wouldn’t need a ticket. Maybe that’s his job, and he has a degree in telling people it’s free to get it. Our first stop was the rather nice restaurant to get a coffee and book for lunch later on.

The restaurant was at the top of a big hill, and most of the gardens were at the bottom, so we walked a short way down and then sat on a bench in the sunshine until it was lunchtime.

The restaurant is very nice, and definitely a step up from the Mexican last night. We had a great table in the window overlooking the gardens and the hills across the valley.

Do you want to know what we had? Steak and Kidney Pudding and Mushy Peas. Only kidding, we had crispy prawns to start followed by Hake and potatoes and fried peppers. I said to the waitress “can I see the drinks menu?”, she said “we don’t have a drinks menu”. Aha I thought, a cunning trick to make us buy a 30 Euro bottle of mediocre wine, so we had water (flat).

After lunch we walked down steps to reach the main part of the gardens. They are uneven stone steps, with a cliff on one side and a steep drop on the other. There are very few signs, and the wrong turn can lead to a dead end or really precipitous steps about 2 feet wide. So it took us 20 minutes of careful walking to get to the bottom of the cliff.

That’s Julie thinking about the Life Insurance policy I took out on her last week.

But it was worth it, since the gardens at the bottom are very lovely. It was much more Spanish (disorganised) than Kew, but it is extensive and relaxing. There are sections of pine forest, laura silva, coastal plants, succulents and cactuses. A murky pond was churning with fish and dragon flies hovered over it which were the size of Ornithopters.

Some of the cactuses are the size of trees, and have woody trunks with bark 60cm across. The laura silva woodland is a recreated remnant of a type forest which once covered much of the Canaries and Madiera. It was alive with birdsong, the most I have heard on the island. When we travelled to Costa Rica in 2022 we expected lots of birdsong in the rainforest, but all we heard was distant Howler Monkeys.

It is a great place to visit, but its a pity there are no bus stops at the bottom of the hill. On the other hand, climbing back up the stairs took only 11 minutes and we only had to wait 10 minutes for a bus. The bus dropped us in Vagueta and we saw some more lovely streets of old houses.

I’m sat next to the tiny balcony in the flat with the doors open listening to the chatter from the street below. I have a glass of iced Ron Miel and some salty nuts, so I’m happy as a pig in shit. The Jehovahs are down there witnessing all the people who won’t be going to heaven with them. What I’m thinking is that if heaven is full of that lot, it’s probably very boring and down stairs with all the sinners would be much more fun.

Day 7 – Bike Tour of Las Palmas

Gran Canaria 2024- Santa Ana and a Dead Bishop

Day 5 Friday 8/3/24

It was a lovely sunny day in Las Palmas today, and a great day for a dental crisis! Julie’s gold filling came off, after well over 40 years of excellent mastication service. Dental problems are never welcome, especially at a time when consuming food is an important part of the holiday.

After a brief flirtation with getting treated in Las Palmas, Julie spoke to the dentist at home and decided she would be alright for another few days until we are home. So no toffees, steaks, bubble gum or peanut brittle for a while, I don’t think she will starve.

Crisis averted, we met Jo and Dave and walked down to Vagueta to see the Cathedral of Santa Ana. Having seen cathedrals in Italy and Andalucia, it is considerably plainer. Las Plamas didn’t have the vast wealth of South American silver and gold like Seville, or the rich bankers and merchants of Tuscany. It is a lovely building, but is not covered in gold and marble.

Part of the deal in the Cathedral was to ascend the tower and enjoy the view over Vagueta and the sea. You can see that the city is squeezed between mountains and the sea.

There was some unusual stuff in the Cathedral. In a little case there was Jesus dressed in one of Barbie’s skirts, it doesn’t suit him. There was a dead Bishop who was mummified and had his face literally painted pink to give him a rosy glow. There was a collection box to pay for him to be made into a saint, sadly I had no change to contribute. My favourite picture is my good buddy Jo looking quite holy.

In the afternoon we visited Casa Colon. I know it sounds like an establishment for.. deep cleaning, but is in fact a museum to Christopher Columbus’s brief visit to Las Palmas. He wasn’t on holiday, he was on his way to destroy cultures and enrich himself in America. It is a lovely little museum, full of maps of his various journeys and a couple of squawking macaws. I especially liked the model of Las Palmas in the 18th century, when it was just Vaguetta and Triana. The Guineguada river is now covered over by a big road between the two barrios.

Here’s Julie looking fascinated by the many maps of Colonic journeys across the Atlantic. Lots of Canarians followed him to settle in South America, where the prospects were better than the Canaries.

In the evening we dined out at Gallo Negro, a Mexican restaurant in Calle Perdoma. I had Enchilladas washed down with an Aperol Spritz, proper holiday food.

Day 6 – The Botanic Gardens

Gran Canaria 2024-Exploring Triana

Day 4 Thursday 7/3/24

The sun was shining this morning from the beginning of the day, so we got out of the flat early…ish. There were pants and socks to wash, so in the event we got out at 11, which is early for a holiday.

The Jehovahs were out on the street trying to convert people by just standing there with their leaflet stand. Quite honestly they could just as well have several cardboard cut-outs of varous versions of Doctor Who and achieve the same number of converts.

We walked for about 5 minutes to get to San Telmo Park, and decided we needed a coffee, its the only way to start the day in Spain. The park is opposite Puerto de la Luz, one of the biggest ports in Spain. They service floating drilling rigs at the port, and there were several lined up ready to get their spark plugs changed and timing belt adjusted.

The park is close to the sea, but is overlooked by hills not far away. In Google Maps I looked up Mirador (viewpoint) and found Mirador de Schamann about 20 minutes walk away, so we headed up there. On the way we passed this interesting looking old building, which is the Canarian Naval Headquarters. I expect they are ready to vigorously fend off any English or Dutch pirates. But quite honestly the Spanish Navy hasn’t had much success since the Battle of Trafalgar.

The view from the mirador was excellent, and the hike up the hill will hopefully negate the effects of the alcohol I will drink tonight. Notice all the drilling rigs in the port. Also you can see that the houses are all little boxes made of ticky tacky and they all look just the same.

We had lunch at the flat (bread/sardines/hummous/tomatoes/sangria) and in the afternoon had another explore of Triana. There are so many interesting streets and a plethora of restaurants.

Have I used the word plethora before? I don’t think so. Like Ithmus, it has a TH in the middle. My initials are TH, surely there is a mystical connection.

Anyway I digress, we mouched about looking at nice places and taking note of restaurants for this evening.

This is the Gabinete Literato, which is a cultural and scientific society a bit like our own Royal Society.

Inside it is equally lovely, and it has a restaurant that we might try out some time.

I took loads more pictures of pretty places, and have cleverly made them into a collage. Not only am I a master of unusual words with TH in them, but I also use collages in my work, I truly am a polymath (which also contains TH).

At 6.30 we met Dave and Jo in their hotel and walked them into Triana. We had a drink in one of the side streets running off Calle Triana, then went in search of a restaurant. They were either Inside Restaurants with no menu on the wall outside and linen table cloths (out of our league) or Outside Restaurants with affordable menus to peruse, but a bit drafty in the street.

Eventually our rumbling tummies overruled us and we found an Outside Restaurant near Plaza del Ranas (Frog Square). My chicken and wrinkled potatoes were very good, washed down with a hearty Rioja.

Day 5 – Santa Ana and a Dead Bishop

Gran Canaria 2024-Into the Mountains and down to the Dunes

Day 3 Wednesday 6/3/24

So far we have had an ‘amuse bouche’ of Gran Canaria, dipping into the old town in las Plamas and Canteras beach. Today we went for the Full Monty, a coach trip up to the mountainous centre of the island and south to Maspolomas. I booked the tour weeks ago, and was hoping that it would show us the interior without having to hire a car.

The bus picked us up at Plaza del Ranas, on the road that separates Triana from Vegueta. There were about 35 people on the bus, with an English speaking guide called Pavel, who is Czech, but has lived in Gran Canaria for a very long time. He was a ball of energy who barely stopped talking, but in a very good way.

It is an understatement to say that the road was windy, it was nothing but bends for hours on end. Luckily my stomach didn’t complain much. The first stop was at Bandama, to see a bloody great hole. Bandama crater is the remains of a volcano that exploded millions of years ago, and it takes an hour to walk around it. It was named after a Dutchman called Van Damme, who owned the land, and the locals mangled his name. At the bottom is a farm where a man called Augustin lived with his family during the Civil War. He never left the crater until he was 80, when he moved in with his sister in the next village. Pavel reckons he is still alive and in his mid 90’s!

This is a picture of a perennially cheerful Pavel telling us all about the ancient occupant of the crater.

We stopped briefly at Santa Brigida, a village named after Saint Brigid. There were at least two Saint Brigids, one was an Irish Virgin and the other was a Swedish do-gooder. Catholics love a nice virgin, and so does Sir Richard Branson, for completley different reasons.

The bus went up and up and twisty turny twisty turny until we reached the top of the island at Pico de las Nievas, the snowy peak. But not today fortunately, it was sunny and we had amazing views across lots of the island. Not far away was Roque Nublo, an eroded volcanic plug (like Arthurs Seat in Edinburgh) and the island’s most famous landmark. Behind it I could see Mount Teide on Tenerife, which I ascended a couple of years ago (by cable car).

This is me at the top. I seem to have aquired a giant hand, it must be the altitude of something.

It was all downhill after that, literally. Beyond the Pico we were in the rainshadow of the mountains, so the landscape changed from lush green to desert. The vegetation changed rapidly to cacti and agaves, and the landscape was like Arizona or Utah.

We stopped for lunch at an oasis village called Fagata, and ate at a restaurant that Pavel had phone ahead to give them our order. I had goat stew with fried potatoes and padron peppers, it was very tender and delicious. I washed it down with a glass of Tropical beer, the local brew made in Las Palmas.

This is what erosion does to a volcano after about 12 million years.

From Fagata it was only half an hour to Maspolomas, which is the main mass tourism resort in the sunnier southern half of the island. The weather is better, there are lots of sand dunes and bars, but no culture. When I travel I want to see authentic places with history and culture, not just hotels and beaches that could be anywhere.

We had 40 minutes wandering along the beach and admiring a fresh water lagoon which is a bird sanctuary. I think we will come down on the bus one day so we can visit it properly.

It took an hour to get back to Las Palmas on the motorway, so we celebrated our return with a glass of local wine in El Patio bar in Vagueta. It’s inside an old style courtyard, and definitly worth another visit.

It’s a big day tomorrow, our buddies Dave and Jo are joining us on our adventure!

Gran Canaria 2024-Vegueta and Canteras

Day 2 Tuesday 5/3/24

We had a very languorous start to the day, mostly doing Sweet FA until about 11.30. We then ambled south along Calle Triana (Calle is pronounced Cayeh in Gran Canaria) and explored a few more of the side streets. There are some very beautiful old houses with wooden balconies, typical of the Canaries.

We crossed Calle Fuente to reach Vagueta, a major road that was once a river until the 20th century. The area we are staying in is called Triana which is 16th and 17th century, Vagueta is the original part of Las Palmas which was founded in 1473 by Castillian Juan Rejon. The Spanish fought the local people for five years before they were conquered by their better armed opponents. Guns, Germs and Steel win every time.

In Vaqueta we met Maria, a local guide who took us around the old town centre. She was an excellent guide and spoke ten to the dozen in a strong Spanish accent that I had to tune into. She loved the area and was enthused about the gorgeous old buildings. One of the first we saw was a little church where Christopher Columbus once prayed while one of his ships was being fixed on his first trip to China (that’s what he thought).

Next to the little church are some palm trees, not the original Las Palmas, but close to where they grew. Vagueta (which means a small piece of fertile ground) has several lovely museums and lots of cafes offering tempting pastries and cocktails (later in the day). Maria told us that Francis Drake had a go at Las Palmas in his usual piratical way, followed later by the Dutch having a pop. Gran Canaria is a very desirable location between Europe, Africa and America. The Canarians built narrow streets with tight corners, so they could pick off any invaders one by one.

The grandest building is the Cathedral of Santa Ana. Apparently Saint Anne was Jesus’s grandmother, and his grandfather was called Joaquin, like Phoenix. Who knew that?

This picture is the back of Santa Ana, with Maria in the corner.

There’s a fantastic market in Vagueta selling local food. Pushing the culinary boat out we invested in some Iberico ham. The pigs are fed only on acorns, and it costs 20 Euros for 100g, that’s 200 Euros a Kilo my friends. Fuck it, we’re on holiday! To go with it, we got some spelt bread, and ate it at lunch in the flat. Needless to say, it was bloody delicious.

After lunch we got the 17 bus to Canteras beach. Las Palmas is a very big city, and the north of is shaped like a lollipop. There is a big peninsular sticking out at the northern end, which is made up of old volcanoes. This area is called Isleta, and is connected to the rest of the city by an isthmus. Dear reader this is the first time I have ever used the word Isthmus, and I’m proud of it. On the western side of the isthmus is a beautiful beach called Canteras, allegedly the best urban beach in Europe.

Its very popular with surfers, most of whom are enthusiastic but crap at surfing. But its a lovely place to hang out in the afternoon sunshine.

Isleta is the lumpy bit at the end of the beach.

Las Palmas is a lovely place, and I’m looking forward to exploring it more. It’s wine time for me now.

Day 3 – Into the Mountains and Down to the Dunes

Gran Canaria 2024-First taste of Las Palmas

Day 1 Monday 4/3/24

I’m visiting Gran Canaria for the first time. I have developed a taste for the Canary archipeligo for several very good reasons.

They are the nearest warm place you can fly to in the Winter/early Spring which is in Europe (sort of). The islands all have their own character, and you can get culture if you want it, plus the booze is cheap and the food is good.

London is still damned chilly right now and the beer is a ridiculous price unless you go to Spoons, and as much as I love them, I don’t want to boost Tim Martin’s bank balance too much. I do appreciate that he is called Tim, there many talented Tims, such as Berners Lee, Vine and Peak. I’m the most popular Tim Harness, I asked my wife and she agreed with me.

Julie and I are staying in the capitol of Gran Canaria, Las Palmas, which is on the top right hand side of the roughly circular island. Its a big city, half an hour from the airport by bus.

Our apartment is in the old part of town called Triana, which is full of shops and restaurants. Julie cleverly chose a beautiful flat on Calle Triana, a pedestrianised shopping street which is very cool. The flat has a balcony about 30 cm wide, too narrow to sit on, but we can open the big windows and watch the passersby.

Since we arrived there has been a group of Jehovahs Witnesses with their little stand of leaflets doing nothing, just across the road. They don’t appear to talk to anyone, they just stand there looking hopeful that someone will approach them. I guess they think they are doing Gods Work, but it appears to me like a total waste of time when they could be in the pub or watching a Grand Prix on the telly.

We got settled in and walked around the locality to suss out where we can eat and drink. Like all touristy places in the Canaries there is an Ale Hop (ally op) which is a bit like Tiger and sells pretty things that you don’t really need but you buy anyway.

There is a Hyper Dino supermarket close to the flat, so we bought our essential supplies, including two bars of 70% chocolate, which I consider is one of life’s necessities.

Thus enriched with supplies we enjoyed an aperitivo by the balcony and made quiet rude comments about the innocent folk below. Jehovah would be very disappointed with me, but I’m sure he will forgive me.

Venturing out again (no more than 200 yards) we found Cafe Cristal and I had a pizza. It wasn’t just good, it was magnificent, with more topping than Bertram Mills Circus.

After loosening my belt, we walked down the Calle to San Telmo Park at the end, which is small but very very pretty. Take a look at this Art Deco cafe, isn’t it gorgeous?

Gran Canaria Day 2 Vegueta and Canteras