The next stop on our tour of Tenerife was Los Cristianos, a very popular resort in the south of the island. We haven’t been down to the south of Tenerife since 1988, and didn’t particularly enjoy it then. It was at the height of the Timeshare Boom, and there were many young English people trying to sell time shares to tourists on commission.
I got so pissed off with being approached by the grinning oiks that I ended up pretending to be a German tourist, saying
“Nein danke, ich bin ein Hamburger”
to get rid of them. Timeshares in Tenerife were a big scam run by John “Goldfinger” Palmer, an English criminal who ended up getting murdered in his own garden by Russians who wanted a share of the action.
We took a TITSA (no sniggering) from Santa Cruz to the bus stop in Los Cristanos. It doesn’t have a bus station since most people arrive in TUI or Jet2 coaches directly from the airport. Once again we hauled our wheely cases for half an hour up a hill to a big block of flats. Our place is on the 9th floor of Castle Harbour, an ugly concrete complex with a swimming pool and loungers. The grasping bastards wanted to charge two Euros to hire a recliner around the pool, which I think is very mean.
View from our balcony towards La Gomera
Our balcony looks out over a road and towards the island of La Gomera over the sea in the distance. A friend of mine (Roger Haynes) once rowed from there to Antigua on his own, it took him over 100 days. The flat wasn’t ready for us, so we walked down to the sea front. As expected, we passed lots of bars showing the Saturday football matches on the TV, watched by many large, bald men.
Once we got to the sea front, we choose one of the many restaurants at random and had some tapas and a beer for lunch. It was fine, but not fine dining. There is a succession of bars, restaurants and souvenir shops which face onto the promenade along side the beach. There were lots (and lots) of mobility scooters, and even some two seat scooters so that couples could trundle along together. I even saw a complete family – mum, dad and two kids – with all their gear riding together on one. So if you have “mobility issues” Los Cristianos is a good choice. I’m not sure about the rules are about drinking and driving a scooter, but I didn’t see anyone getting breathalysed by a cop driving a slightly faster mobility scooter.
Lock up your daughters, its the Wild Bunch
I saw a “Viking Longboat” motoring along the coast. I think that Danes from the north of the island sailed down to the south but decided it wasn’t worth invading.
Danish invaders deciding not to bother
At the western end of Los Cristianos beach there is a ferry port with catamaran ferries going to La Gomera, and a big sea wall. Beyond the wall there is another beach called Playa de Los Vistas. That beach looked better than the first one, a bit more upmarket with more classier looking restaurants. There were several beach volleyball courts with teenagers playing a tournament refereed by adults blowing shrill whistles.
Los Cristianos doesn’t have an old town, in fact it has nothing of any architectural or cultural merit that I could find. But it does have a good beach and affordable restaurants and drinks which is brilliant for 95% of the population. I’m in the other 5% who look for more from a holiday. Talking to various friends it seems I’m also in the 2% who also don’t give a toss about Bake Off, Strictly or Traitors.
In the evening we ate somewhere which was quite good. There was a guitarist who could play some old rock songs quite well, but sadly he also played Country Music. I think the name defines who that music is for.
19 January 2025 – on the beach
The vast majority of British tourists visit the south of Tenerife, whereas the north is preferred by Germans, Dutch and Scandinavians. I thought that might have changed since our last visit in 1988, but it hasn’t. It caters for people who enjoy a Full English and a pint of lager at the same time. In fact its pretty similar to any Spoons at 10 in the morning, but with sunshine.
Since this was our last day in Tenerife, we had a lazy beach day. To be honest it was the only sort of day available. Foolishly we tried to find a nice coffee shop where we could get a fresh croissant with our Americano coffee. There are literally dozens of such cafes in Twickenham and Richmond. These establishments do not exist in Los Cristanos, which made me realise that this place was not meant for me.
LC appears to be the holiday destination of choice for the overweight and thirsty, maybe there is a connection. The promenade is a slow shuffle of people heading for there next drink or meal, or possibly heading for a tattoo parlour to get their pink bodies embroidered with the name of their football club.
We picked a pair of recliners and an umbrella on the beach and settled there for the day with our books. I’m reading Dead Lions, the second Slow Horses book, which is full of very funny Jackson Lamb lines. The book is punctuated with Lamb’s flatulence, which he uses to annoy his detractors.
Better out than in
Naturally I was also watching people on the beach, which is always entertaining and made me feel thin.
I did go in for a swim with my goggles on, and as I waded out I kicked a large and unmoving rock , which was painful.
“Oh gosh, I’ve kicked a flipping rock” I exclaimed as I tried to regain my balance and not look like a complete knob
During my “diving trip” I saw just one fish, which looked quite lonely swimming around the rocks. I suspect all the other fish have been fried and ended up with a plate of chips.
In the evening we met a friend of Julie’s who was also on holiday in Tenerife. They are staying in a very smart hotel for a week. I was a bit envious of the hotel, but two nights was long enough in Los Cristianos. We found a smart bar and enjoyed a drink, before Anne returned for her inclusive dinner. It was a good place so we stayed and had dinner there, I had lamb and Julie had salmon.
On the way back to the flat after dinner we passed a bar with a singer who was knocking out old 60s and 70s soul songs. We were encouraged to go in by a cheeky chappie in a funny hat, a sort of court jester. The singer was so good we went in and ordered a pair of Aperol Spritz and got into the spirit.
Sitting on the dock of the bay
Julie’s face was beaming, she loved the old tunes by Stevie Wonder, Wilson Pickett, Jimmy Ruffin, Otis Redding and many others. It’s amazing how words of songs over fifty years old come back to you when you have had a cocktail.
Times Up on Ten Days in Tenerife
That was the longest holiday we have had in the Canaries, and I enjoyed it all. Pulling bags uphill was a recurring theme I could have done without, but to balance that we had many splendid views from balconies in our three different flats. I actually swam in the sea twice, which is very good for January. Most of the meals I ate were good, some were average but none were terrible.
I like the Canaries because they are sunny when the weather is horrible at home, and there is loads to do if you make an effort to do some exploring. You can even see exhibitions about moderately talented shagging Surrealist artists.
January is definitely the winter of my discontent. It’s the slump after Christmas when the dark reality of the post-festive season kicks in. It is generally just shit.
This is what Twickenham is like in the winter.
Because Julie and I have the time and resources to escape the gloom, we decided to make a getaway. The next question is, where? I really didn’t fancy the flying time and ticket cost of a long-haul to Asia or the Caribbean. Florida is MAGA country, and not my natural environment as a card-carrying Guardian-reading-pinko-liberal (with both a small and capital L).
Warm places on a shortish-haul flights are: Madeira, the Canaries or Egypt. I went to Madeira once and thought it was OK, but it didn’t really ring my bell. I’ve been to Egypt twice on cheap holidays and drank some of the worst wine and beer in the world.
The Canaries have eight islands to choose from, good food and wine and quite a lot of culture.
Call me a creature of habit:
“Tim, you’re a creature of habit”
but I do like Tenerife. It has several cities to visit, a vast number of restaurants, and a smattering of interesting things that appeal to my Culture-Supplement-Reading-Self. So we got a guide book out of the library, and Julie (the finest travel agent in my house) booked flights and accommodation.
Twickenham was minus five and very frosty when we left at 5am, and drove very carefully down the motorways to Gatport Airwick. Our bright orange (guess who) A320 landed at sunny Tenerife South Airport at about 12.30 on 10th January.
Julie is exceedingly well organised when it comes to holidays, and had pre-booked a shuttle coach from the airport to Puerto de la Cruz on the north coast of the island.
“Why Puerto de la Cruz” I hear you ask ? It’s in The North of the island where some people (who holiday in the South) say it rains all the time and Polar Bears hunt on the sea ice. Puerto de la Cruz is actually a lovely town (in parts) and the weather is pretty much the same as in the desert-like south of the island.
Staying in Puerto de la Cruz
Annoyingly our shuttle coach stopped at about a dozen hotels before getting close to our flat, which was a real draaag maaan. Our host Alexandra met us outside the block and took us up to our seventh floor studio flat. She was German or Dutch. Or possibly Swedish or Danish, definitely Northern European. After a brief tour of the flat she left us a delicious bottle of rose, Castillo de Benizar Cabernet Sauvignon 2019. It mysteriously fell down our throats later that day, along with a big bag of crisps.
The flat was tiny, in fact it was a converted hotel room. But it did have a terrace looking south over the Valle de la Oratava and the central mountain of the island. The Valle is not a valley between two hills in the usual sense, but a slope down from the centre of the island on the side of the volcano. It is very verdant and covered with banana plantations, vineyards and farm houses . This is unlike the South of the island which looks like Iraq, and not the irrigated part of Iraq.
I had my pocket binoculars which I bought in Lanzarote focused on the astronomical observatory on the ridge in the distance, which is where Brian May did lots of his star watching, studying for his PhD.
The astronomical observatory as see from our terrace
Alexandra recommended a restaurant called Meson Los Golemos which is (apparently) a typical Canarian place. She told us that we couldn’t book and might have to queue for a “short while”. So we walked there in the late afternoon sunshine for an early dinner and queued outside for half an hour, with other keen potential diners. There were still fourteen people in the queue in front of us before we thought “sod that” and went off in a huff.
After a bit of hunting around, I found Las Tequita de Min by the harbour, which we went to last in 2021, but I think it was a different owner. The mixed fish platter was OK, but not as good as it was last time. Typically it had the “Canarian potatoes” with red and green sauces. They seem to come with most meals and are new potatoes which are a bit salty. I couldn’t describe what the sauces taste like, but ketchup has more flavour.
Fish Dish in Las Teguita de Min
Having got up at Stupid O’Clock we ran out of steam fairly early. On the walk back to the flat and bought some milk and biscuits at the Hyperdino supermarket nearby. Being British, we had brought our own tea bags with us so we wouldn’t shrivel from tea starvation.
Our First Full Day
On the first night in Tenerife we had a very good night’s sleep. It is in the same time zone as the UK, so there is no jet lag. The flat is on the 7th floor of a block in the town centre, and is very quiet. We get more noise in Twickenham when the planes for Heathrow are going over. Once the sun rose above the mountain at about 9am, the terrace was sunny and warm.
We walked down to the sea front and enjoyed a busker playing English rock songs, notably Creep by Radiohead and Sultans of Swing by Dire Straits. He threw all the right shapes and looked suitably rock-starry with a bandana around his head, but his voice was a bit weedy. He needs to smoke more fags and drink Jack Daniels like Keef Richards.
I’m a Creep I’m a Wierdo
INTERESTING FACT
Radiohead were sued for plagiarism by Mike Hazlewood and Albert Hammond because Creep is similar the their song The Air That I Breathe, which was a big hit for the Hollies.
The sea front in that part of the town does not have a good beach, but it does have an open plaza with benches where you can watch surfers mostly not catching waves. They swim out and bob around for a long time waiting for a good wave and occasionally catch a good one, and race 50 metres to the shore.
After the busker left for a more lucrative pitch (I did give him a Euro for Sultans) we walked up lots of steps to the upper part of the town and went to the Botanic Gardens, for the third time. The town is at the foot of the slopes that peaks at Mount Teide, not much of the entire island is flat, it’s either up or down. I did see it on TV once when it featured in an episode of Foundation on Apple + . The Emperor of the galactic empire was walking round the garden talking to his android advisor/girlfriend or some such bollocks.
The gardens are the second oldest botanic garden in Spain (after Madrid) and are densely packed with palm trees, exotic figs and an enormous Norfolk Island Pine. These strange trees are very popular on the island and grow very large in the perfect conditions.
The best tree is the giant Lord Howe Island fig, which has aerial roots that grow into the ground and become trunks. It looks quite other-worldly like a tree from Pandora in Avatar.
Lord Howe Island Fig
In the afternoon we sunned ourselves on our terrace with our books, and had a glass of Rose, it was very relaxing. By the way I mean Rosay wine, but I don’t know how to make the accent on the “e” at the end of the word.
In the evening we had a walk along the sea front, which was very lively with promenading tourists. The north of Tenerife is very popular with German and Dutch tourists, whereas the south is more popular with Brits. So you can get a curry wurst and Paulaner beer if you fancy one.
As it got dark we walked west and found the Elements cocktail bar. I had a Singapore Sling and Julie had a White Lady and we watched passersby envious at our sophistication and good taste. I do enjoy a cocktail when you don’t have to take out a mortgage to buy one, as you do in Twickenham.
Julie found an Italian Restaurant called Il Ponte, which is about 3 minutes from the flat. It is a family run place which is very friendly and the food was wonderful. We both had pasta ribbons with a rabbit ragu which was bloody delicious! Rabbit is very popular in Tenerife for some reason, I have never had it with pasta before. The chef was very funny and kept doing rabbit ears and hopped around his kitchen. I loved the place and we are going back tomorrow.
A Bus Trip Up Teide
You would be daft to go to Tenerife and not take a trip up Mount Teide. It is the tallest mountain in Spain (almost 12,000 feet) and is a spectacular natural wonder. The road winds up from Puerto de la Cruz through La Oratava through lush plantations and then pine forest. It takes about an hour and is windy all the way. I’m very pleased I wasn’t driving.
The road then reaches a place called El Portillo at the start of the National Park and the landscape changes from pine forest to very high altitude desert at over 6,000 feet. It really does look like Arizona or the Sahara, a very alien landscape and not at all like Surrey.
Roques de Garcia with Teide behind
The coach stopped for coffee and toilets and we tried a local special coffee called a barraquito. It is made with espresso, frothy milk, liqueur and condensed milk. It was sweet and small like a little Irish Coffee and to be honest I wish we had a proper Americano.
The National Park is the caldera of a long dead volcano roughly 10 miles long and six miles wide. The cone of Mount Teide arises from the caldera up another 6,500 feet which you ascend in the cable car. We put every bit of clothing we had on to go up, because there was snow at the top, clearly visible from Puerto de la Cruz. But it wasn’t as cold as expected because the sunshine was so bright. All the footpaths at the top were closed because of the snow and ice, so we couldn’t walk around. Nonetheless, the views were awesome and there were no clouds so we could see other islands in the archipelago. Just by chance my brother Peter phoned me from Lincolnshire, so I was able to describe the fantastic view to him. I could look down on the observatory I was looking up to from the flat.
Tim Peaking
Later in the afternoon back at the flat we watched some paragliders circling above the town and slowly descending, we were worried about where they would land! I went down to the sea front to where we had seen the busker the previous day, and the intrepid flyers had just landed there and were there wrapping up their parachutes.
I sat in the sunshine under the palm trees and read my Kindle until it got cool at about 6pm. I’m really enjoying A City on Mars by the Weinersmiths. It’s a non-fiction book written by a husband and wife team all about the feasibility of living on Mars, the Moon and in Space. It won the Royal Society book prize for 2024 and it was well deserved. It is incredibly well researched, informative and humorously written. It also proves even more strongly that they won’t be a Muskow on Mars any time soon.
I’m a proud geek
We returned to Il Pueblo for dinner and were disappointed this time. My Spaghetti Carbonara was very lacklustre and Julie was recommended a “pizza of the day” which was quite good, but twice the price of the standard pizzas.
They build you up then let you down, never trust a chef who does bunny hops in the kitchen.
A Walk to Bo Yo Yo Beach
The old centre of Puerto de la Cruz is set out on a grid pattern, with streets running parallel to the sea shore and others running at 90 degrees to them.
PdlC town centre
In the centre there are many beautiful old houses built in the typical Canarian style with two or three floors and wooden balconies. The historic heart of the town is surrounded by ugly blocks of flats and hotels built since the sixties. There are some lovely pedestrianised streets of old fisherman’s cottages, interspersed with more modern buildings.
The sides of some new concrete buildings have been painted with beautiful colourful murals. The local council has made a real effort to improve part of the city centre, which is good because the newer hotels are all dreadful.
Another joy in the city are the roadside palm trees. Most are the robust and common Canarian Palms, but there are also Wellingtonia Palms like the ones in Los Angeles, which grow very tall. They are planted in the streets like we have plane tree and maples and give the cities a tropical feel
We walked into the town centre to find the Tourist Information to find some ideas for walks that we could go on. The young woman in there was willing and friendly but not much practical help. She did confirm the walk to Bollollo (pronounce Bo Yo Yo) beach was worthwhile, but that was all she could suggest. I know there are load more walks on the island, but they all required a car or a long bus journey.
After a healthy salad lunch on the terrace in the sunshine we walked east parallel to the coast to Bollollo beach. It was only a couple of miles to the beach, half of it through a banana plantations. It was a splendid walk up hill and down dale through a barranca (dry ravine).
Banana plantation on the way to Bullollo
The beach at Bollollo is made of black sand and the sea looked cold, so we didn’t descend down the cliff path to reach it. But there was an excellent restaurant close by where we had a jarra (pint-ish) and a cana (half-ish) of Dorada beer overlooking the sea, which was very relaxing.
That’s what holidays are about really, drinking beer/wine/cocktails in the sunshine and trying to forget that the most powerful man in the world is an orange moron.
On the way back we took some steps down the cliff toward the sea front and watched a paraglider coming into land after flying up and down the coast for a long while trying to lose height. We watched him going back and forth trying to get the right approach at the right height. He did make a perfect landing on the plaza where I had seen the flyers pack up their chutes the day before, it must be their regular landing place.
Close by there was a little bar overlooking the sea, so we had an Aperol Spritz because it was such a great location, the sun was shining and it was the right thing to do. Please don’t get the impression that I’m an alcoholic, I sometimes stopped drinking for hours at a time.
Tim and the Giant Spritz
In the evening we dined at Con Pasion, which was a stylish cool place with excellent tapas and a great selection of wines. Altogether we tasted six different Canarian wines, and had dessert. I think the dessert may have been an indulgence too far, and I suffered raging reflux at 2 a.m. God just doesn’t want me to enjoy myself too much!
An amble around town
The bus system in Tenerife, TITSA, is quite good, without being great. There are regular buses all around the island, but getting advanced tickets is a pain. There was always a long queue at the ticket desk and the only machine was broken. We later found it was very easy to buy a ticket on the bus with cash or a card. In fact we paid for pretty much everything by card, either plastic or using our phones.
Without any sort of a plan for activities on that day we strolled through the town centre towards the castillo on the sea front . The oldest part of town has a fine old church, and a square called the Plaza del Charco. Close to the plaza is the old harbour which still has a few fishing boats and a small beach. Until the early 17th century, La Oratava was the main municipality in the area, and Garachico, further to the west, was the main port. Garachico exported Malmsey to England. In 1706, Teide erupted and a lava flow partly destroyed the town and blocked its harbour. Puerto de la Cruz then became the main port for La Oratava and its growth began.
El Castillo San Felipe is a substantial fort on the seafront, probably as protection from English pirates. The castillo is open to the public and has some abstract art in it, which we spent several minutes admiring (about my limit with abstract art). I’m sure that it would be a lovely space for music performances.
Castillo San Filipe , complete with toilet on the wall
Westward from the castillo there is a very pretty promenade and beaches with black sand and palm trees, which give it a very exotic feel. Unfortunately there are lots of signs saying don’t swim because the water is polluted with sewage. It’s a familiar problem to people who live by the Thames. There were plenty of people sunbathing and playing volleyball, and some of them braved the sea to play in the surf ‘n shit.
We found a cafe and had the meal deal of the day, sardines and potatoes with the typical orange and green sauces that they always serve here. They both taste the same to me and are inferior, IMHO, to HP sauce or ketchup. I must bring some next time, I might steal some sachets from Spoons next time I go.
At the end of the beach is Loro Parque, the zoo which is Tenerife’s No.1 attraction. Almost every bus and litter bin advertise the zoo, you can’t escape it. We’ve been twice before and it’s really good, but as a good Guardian reader I feel guilty about it. I felt even worse when I read the Wikipedia page which describes the treatment of its Orcas.
Close to Loro Parque there is a picturesque part of town called Punta Brava that is built right on the shore, the sea must be very noisy in a storm.
Punta Brava
On the way back I booked a table at a restaurant called the Tropical in the town centre, and went back to the flat to chill (and write up my diary).
On returning to the restaurant later in the evening they had lost my booking, the utter utter bastards. So we went to another 50 yards away which was very good. A busker parked himself nearby and played Stairway to Heaven and Wish You Were Here, so I generously put a Euro in his hat. I have always been a patron to The Arts.
Walking back up the sea front the full moon lit up the rocky shore, (and so did an annoying street light). The moon is the white blob at the top.
Seafront with Full Moon and Palm Trees
By the way I let an AI in WordPress generate the title for the blog. They are taking over!
So far we have had an ‘amuse bouche’ of Gran Canaria, dipping into the old town in las Plamas and Canteras beach. Today we went for the Full Monty, a coach trip up to the mountainous centre of the island and south to Maspolomas. I booked the tour weeks ago, and was hoping that it would show us the interior without having to hire a car.
The bus picked us up at Plaza del Ranas, on the road that separates Triana from Vegueta. There were about 35 people on the bus, with an English speaking guide called Pavel, who is Czech, but has lived in Gran Canaria for a very long time. He was a ball of energy who barely stopped talking, but in a very good way.
It is an understatement to say that the road was windy, it was nothing but bends for hours on end. Luckily my stomach didn’t complain much. The first stop was at Bandama, to see a bloody great hole. Bandama crater is the remains of a volcano that exploded millions of years ago, and it takes an hour to walk around it. It was named after a Dutchman called Van Damme, who owned the land, and the locals mangled his name. At the bottom is a farm where a man called Augustin lived with his family during the Civil War. He never left the crater until he was 80, when he moved in with his sister in the next village. Pavel reckons he is still alive and in his mid 90’s!
This is a picture of a perennially cheerful Pavel telling us all about the ancient occupant of the crater.
We stopped briefly at Santa Brigida, a village named after Saint Brigid. There were at least two Saint Brigids, one was an Irish Virgin and the other was a Swedish do-gooder. Catholics love a nice virgin, and so does Sir Richard Branson, for completley different reasons.
The bus went up and up and twisty turny twisty turny until we reached the top of the island at Pico de las Nievas, the snowy peak. But not today fortunately, it was sunny and we had amazing views across lots of the island. Not far away was Roque Nublo, an eroded volcanic plug (like Arthurs Seat in Edinburgh) and the island’s most famous landmark. Behind it I could see Mount Teide on Tenerife, which I ascended a couple of years ago (by cable car).
This is me at the top. I seem to have aquired a giant hand, it must be the altitude of something.
It was all downhill after that, literally. Beyond the Pico we were in the rainshadow of the mountains, so the landscape changed from lush green to desert. The vegetation changed rapidly to cacti and agaves, and the landscape was like Arizona or Utah.
We stopped for lunch at an oasis village called Fagata, and ate at a restaurant that Pavel had phone ahead to give them our order. I had goat stew with fried potatoes and padron peppers, it was very tender and delicious. I washed it down with a glass of Tropical beer, the local brew made in Las Palmas.
This is what erosion does to a volcano after about 12 million years.
From Fagata it was only half an hour to Maspolomas, which is the main mass tourism resort in the sunnier southern half of the island. The weather is better, there are lots of sand dunes and bars, but no culture. When I travel I want to see authentic places with history and culture, not just hotels and beaches that could be anywhere.
We had 40 minutes wandering along the beach and admiring a fresh water lagoon which is a bird sanctuary. I think we will come down on the bus one day so we can visit it properly.
It took an hour to get back to Las Palmas on the motorway, so we celebrated our return with a glass of local wine in El Patio bar in Vagueta. It’s inside an old style courtyard, and definitly worth another visit.
It’s a big day tomorrow, our buddies Dave and Jo are joining us on our adventure!
We had a very languorous start to the day, mostly doing Sweet FA until about 11.30. We then ambled south along Calle Triana (Calle is pronounced Cayeh in Gran Canaria) and explored a few more of the side streets. There are some very beautiful old houses with wooden balconies, typical of the Canaries.
We crossed Calle Fuente to reach Vagueta, a major road that was once a river until the 20th century. The area we are staying in is called Triana which is 16th and 17th century, Vagueta is the original part of Las Palmas which was founded in 1473 by Castillian Juan Rejon. The Spanish fought the local people for five years before they were conquered by their better armed opponents. Guns, Germs and Steel win every time.
In Vaqueta we met Maria, a local guide who took us around the old town centre. She was an excellent guide and spoke ten to the dozen in a strong Spanish accent that I had to tune into. She loved the area and was enthused about the gorgeous old buildings. One of the first we saw was a little church where Christopher Columbus once prayed while one of his ships was being fixed on his first trip to China (that’s what he thought).
Next to the little church are some palm trees, not the original Las Palmas, but close to where they grew. Vagueta (which means a small piece of fertile ground) has several lovely museums and lots of cafes offering tempting pastries and cocktails (later in the day). Maria told us that Francis Drake had a go at Las Palmas in his usual piratical way, followed later by the Dutch having a pop. Gran Canaria is a very desirable location between Europe, Africa and America. The Canarians built narrow streets with tight corners, so they could pick off any invaders one by one.
The grandest building is the Cathedral of Santa Ana. Apparently Saint Anne was Jesus’s grandmother, and his grandfather was called Joaquin, like Phoenix. Who knew that?
This picture is the back of Santa Ana, with Maria in the corner.
There’s a fantastic market in Vagueta selling local food. Pushing the culinary boat out we invested in some Iberico ham. The pigs are fed only on acorns, and it costs 20 Euros for 100g, that’s 200 Euros a Kilo my friends. Fuck it, we’re on holiday! To go with it, we got some spelt bread, and ate it at lunch in the flat. Needless to say, it was bloody delicious.
After lunch we got the 17 bus to Canteras beach. Las Palmas is a very big city, and the north of is shaped like a lollipop. There is a big peninsular sticking out at the northern end, which is made up of old volcanoes. This area is called Isleta, and is connected to the rest of the city by an isthmus. Dear reader this is the first time I have ever used the word Isthmus, and I’m proud of it. On the western side of the isthmus is a beautiful beach called Canteras, allegedly the best urban beach in Europe.
Its very popular with surfers, most of whom are enthusiastic but crap at surfing. But its a lovely place to hang out in the afternoon sunshine.
Isleta is the lumpy bit at the end of the beach.
Las Palmas is a lovely place, and I’m looking forward to exploring it more. It’s wine time for me now.
I’m visiting Gran Canaria for the first time. I have developed a taste for the Canary archipeligo for several very good reasons.
They are the nearest warm place you can fly to in the Winter/early Spring which is in Europe (sort of). The islands all have their own character, and you can get culture if you want it, plus the booze is cheap and the food is good.
London is still damned chilly right now and the beer is a ridiculous price unless you go to Spoons, and as much as I love them, I don’t want to boost Tim Martin’s bank balance too much. I do appreciate that he is called Tim, there many talented Tims, such as Berners Lee, Vine and Peak. I’m the most popular Tim Harness, I asked my wife and she agreed with me.
Julie and I are staying in the capitol of Gran Canaria, Las Palmas, which is on the top right hand side of the roughly circular island. Its a big city, half an hour from the airport by bus.
Our apartment is in the old part of town called Triana, which is full of shops and restaurants. Julie cleverly chose a beautiful flat on Calle Triana, a pedestrianised shopping street which is very cool. The flat has a balcony about 30 cm wide, too narrow to sit on, but we can open the big windows and watch the passersby.
Since we arrived there has been a group of Jehovahs Witnesses with their little stand of leaflets doing nothing, just across the road. They don’t appear to talk to anyone, they just stand there looking hopeful that someone will approach them. I guess they think they are doing Gods Work, but it appears to me like a total waste of time when they could be in the pub or watching a Grand Prix on the telly.
We got settled in and walked around the locality to suss out where we can eat and drink. Like all touristy places in the Canaries there is an Ale Hop (ally op) which is a bit like Tiger and sells pretty things that you don’t really need but you buy anyway.
There is a Hyper Dino supermarket close to the flat, so we bought our essential supplies, including two bars of 70% chocolate, which I consider is one of life’s necessities.
Thus enriched with supplies we enjoyed an aperitivo by the balcony and made quiet rude comments about the innocent folk below. Jehovah would be very disappointed with me, but I’m sure he will forgive me.
Venturing out again (no more than 200 yards) we found Cafe Cristal and I had a pizza. It wasn’t just good, it was magnificent, with more topping than Bertram Mills Circus.
After loosening my belt, we walked down the Calle to San Telmo Park at the end, which is small but very very pretty. Take a look at this Art Deco cafe, isn’t it gorgeous?
timharnesstravels 