Tuesday 1st September – Twickenham to Koblenz
This is our second Interrail trip around Europe,the long-awaited followup to our 2023 trip. On our last journey we winged it for much of the way, booking accommodation as we went along. This time it has been planned in great detail so we can get the best places that fit our needs. Only time will tell.
It was a lovely morning when we set off to St Pancras on Tuesday the first of September, a little fresh but clear and dry. We caught the 6.50 train from Whitton and got to St Pancras International spot on time at 7.45.
Then the tannoy announced a 10 minute delay at Ebbsfleet, bollocks! This put our connection in Brussels at risk right at the start of our journey.
The Eurostar train was commodious and comfortable, with more leg room than easyJet, but that is not a high bar. I’m always amazed by petite Japanese ladies travellers who drag along massive wheeled suitcases they could happily fit into. They must rely on their charm to entice fellow passengers to get the monster bags on and off the trains.
It took 45 minutes to get to the Chunnel, about the same time as the stopping train from Whitton to Waterloo.
We did miss our connection at Brussels Zuid for Cologne, and waited an hour for the next train. I went into Hema (a bits and pieces shop like Tiger) and almost bought a substantial bag of drup, Dutch salty licorice. But then my dentist Mr Arora appeared to me in a vision and warned me of the dangers of eating sticky sweets, so I walked away from the shop.
At Cologne we changed trains again to get a slow train down the Rhine valley to Koblenz, the train was packed with commuters and tourists.
Our AirBnB is in an anonymous block overlooking the railway tracks, but it is really nicely decorated in Ikea chic. The curtains give a modicum of privacy, they are more like my mums nets rather than blackouts. There’s a Lidl nearby so we stocked up with essentials in a very familiar retail environment. There was a splendid collection of Parkside tools that I steadfastly ignored, I don’t have room in my bag for a welding mask.
Not wishing to walk far, we went for dinner at a Croatian restaurant round the corner. It was like stepping back to the 80’s, complete with Europop music on the speakers. The food was solid Balkan fare, large pieces of pig with chips and rice. If we wanted to build muscle for a contest to lift large boulders, it would be ideal, but Grace Dent wouldn’t give it a good review in the Guardian.
Wednesday 2nd September – Exploring Koblenz and the Rhine
The rail track, which is about 50 yards from our flat, was remarkably quiet. The busy road just beyond it has the same constant hum as our own A316, so we feel at home. Our itinerary today was planned in advance; boat trip, cable car, fortress and then the altstadt (old town).
Feeling refreshed and frisky we walked north towards Deutsche Eck, the most prominent landmark in Koblenz. More on that later. Our tour boat La Paloma was docked next to Rhine cruisers at Bridge 2. It was twice the size of our local Turks boats at Kingston, and had table service. We chugged a few miles down the Rhine, stopped and chugged back.
The weather was warm and the views from the deck were a constant delight. There were plenty of 19th Century castles built for indulgent princes. They would buy an old ruin and then tart it up in a Wagnerian style. The final castle Marksburg, was a genuine mediaeval schloss, but honestly I couldn’t tell the difference between it and the fakes.
I enjoyed watching the enormous barges delivering oil, containers and even coal. Rhine cruisers passed us with captive passengers “enjoying” a week watching passing castles, two hours was quite enough for me. The boat trip was fun and all that, but like drinking a whole bottle of Martini Bianco, once is enough.
Deutsche Eck means German Corner, and is the confluence of the Rhine and Moselle. By the way it’s pronounced Mozul, a bit like the city in Iraq, and not Moselle. On the Eck is a huge plinth and on top of that is a massive statue of Kaiser Wilhelm I. He was the first German emperor who presided over Germany when it was first united. He is not to be confused with his son Wilhelm II who started World War 1. He should have been shot, but he was George Vs cousin so he was allowed to retire to the Netherlands and died in his own bed.
From the Eck we got a cable car across the Rhine up to the Ehrenbreitstein Fortress, a vast edifice built by the Prussians to guard their newly acquired Rhineland territory two hundred years ago. The fortress sits within a modern park on top of a steep hill, great for shelling any cheeky Frenchmen who might have a go at it. The Germans would probably say “your father is a hamster and your mother smells of elderberries, ah fart in your general direction”
A splendid lookout tower at the northern end of the park gave us wonderful views over the entire city and Eiffel mountains in the distance.
The fortress itself is quite good without being a knockout, lots of rooms with very thick walls and cannons ‘n shit. In a baroque style building, where all the officers probably hung out, there was a museum. It was modern and engaging and had displays about the way of life of ordinary folk in the 18th and 19th centuries. I always enjoy finding out about working class Sid and Doris (or the German equivalent names) rather than regal Wilhelm and Augusta.
The cable car took us down back to Koblenz and we explored the old town. The RAF and USAAF destroyed 90% of Koblenz, and sadly we didn’t leave much of the good stuff. The basilica of St Castor was very old and impressive. The other notable church, the Liebrauenkirche (church of My Ladies Favourite White Wine) was totally covered in white plastic and scaffolding, the sort of thing a mad German artist would do.
Having walked around a bit we needed sustenance and nipped into a discount store called Netto. It is like Lidl was twenty years ago, all the cans are still in boxes on the shelves and it is very cheap. Their croissants were very adequate and stopped us from expiring and making the litter-free pavements untidy
Thursday 3rd September – Along the Moselle to Cochem
I remember my mate Peter Cotterell telling me about Cochem fifty years ago. He had lived in Germany for a whle because his dad was stationed there with the RAF. We did a hitch-hiking tour and quite possibly thumbed it through Koblenz and Cochem.
We are terribly Modern people and used an AI to plan our trip, ChatGPT gave Cochem a good review. It was only 35 minutes on the train, all along the Moselle valley which is very pretty. The banks are terraced with grape vines and there are lots of little castles. Cochem is another town that took a pasting during the War, so lots of it has been rebuilt. It is a major tourist destination, with many cruise boats moored up and loads of retired people on electric bikes trundling along the river. Most of the charming half timbered buildings in the town centre are now shops, bars or restaurants. It reminded me of Bowness on Lake Windemere, you are always close to a fudge shop or somewhere selling fleeces.
The Tourist Information shop had a QR code for an audio guide that lead us around the town to interesting sites, including a statue of a fox getting squashed in a wine press. There are a few old gates and bits of town wall left over from when the town was mostly destroyed by the French in 1689. On the signs about the destruction of the town, King Louis 14th was referred to as Ludwig. That’s a useful pub fact to dazzle your more parochial friends.
At the top of a hill overlooking the town is the Imperial Castle of Cochem. It was blown up by the French, and left a ruin. In 1875 a Berlin businessman called Louis Revene bought it and rebuilt it to impress his young wife. Sadly she wasn’t impressed and divorced him. It is now owned by the town, and they run guided tours in English.
Our guide was one of the worst I have ever encountered. His grasp of English was not great, and he was a really dull bloke who couldn’t answer questions. He was very impressed by an oak cabinet that WAS ON LEGS, like it was a big deal in 19th century Germany. When we were all a captive audience on a balcony he bloody sang to us. WTF! It was definitely “a no from me”.
The castle was furnished in a mock medieval style that would suit the Adams family, all dark oak and discomfort. From the outside it looked proper Hogwarts, and I expected a flock of bats to fly out of a window. But the views down the Moselle were fantastic, and the castle looks great from a distance.
Cochem was worth visiting, but it was more like Blackpool Upon Moselle than I expected.
Our next stop Switzerland.
